A Tale of Two Parties

Joe was invited to two different Intel holiday parties here in Shanghai. The first was the business group he belongs to and was hosted at the Paulaner Brewhaus. It was very similar to the Intel parties we have attended in the US, with a buffet dinner (western and Chinese food), a band, and door prizes. But there were some dead give-aways that this was a Chinese party. The first thing is the party invitation. The email sent out (which Joe forwarded to me) said all the usuals about date, time, place, but then it had a line that said "Dress Code" followed by the words sexy, high heels, short dresses. So that should have been our first clue that we are no longer living in the world of ultra-political correctness. (BTW - for those of you reading my other recent blogs, this is the fateful party for which I ventured into the stores to buy a dress.) Another give-away is that there was, of course, karaoke. And there was a drinking contest. For those of you not well-versed in Chinese culture, drinking and ceremony are essential components of parties and banquets. This, combined with the need to save face, results in some very drunk people! I have heard from some Shanghainese friends that at Chinese weddings the bride and groom are required to go to every table and toast “Gambei!” (which means bottoms-up). I surely would have passed out if this had been required at my own wedding! Anyway, I digress. This first party we went to felt like a combination of western and eastern, which makes sense when you think about it being an Intel party in China.
Now, the second party we went to was for the entire Intel campus in Shanghai and it was done in traditional Chinese banquet style. There were so many people we took up 2 floors of a 5 floor restaurant. We sat at round tables with the lazy-susan in the middle and had a waitress who served our table. There was a stage and there was planned entertainment for the entire evening. They had 2 mc’s, one Chinese speaking and the other English speaking, but the majority of the evening was of course in Chinese. This presented a little problem for us, not because we didn’t understand what was being said, but because we couldn’t LOOK like we didn’t understand. You see, long before we came to China we were friends with Tom and Donna Rampone. Tom is now a VP at Intel, and a nicer guy you will never meet, so titles are mostly irrelevant to him when it comes to friendships (as far as I can tell.) But here in China where titles are paramount, he is known as “the big boss”. And of course he sits at the first table in front of the stage, and since there are cameras at this party panning the room, they frequently focus on the head table. Because we knew Tom and Donna before China, and because the admins were kind enough to group all the English-speakers together, we were sitting at the head table. So there we were, pasting a pleasant smile on our faces, trying to look interested in the numerous speeches and toasts so that when the camera swung around, we did not look like idiots. It’s a lot of pressure! I have new sympathy for the celebrities sitting around at the Golden Globes.
But the entertainment for this evening was really great. They had a Chinese opera performer, a comedian, 2 different sets of dancing troupes, awards, and of course a singing contest. Interestingly enough, the singing contest wasn’t actually planned. They had some dead space, and since the entire evening is focused on what’s happening on the stage, they had to fill it. They just asked for volunteers from the audience to come up for a singing contest. And amazingly, 12 different people went up there and participated! Maybe that would also happen in America, but I just can’t conceive of that many people voluntarily jumping up on stage in front of co-workers and singing.
So during all the many different performances on the stage, there were children everywhere. At first it was just one or two kids creeping up towards the stage. Then it was about a dozen of them. And their parents all remained seated. Then more kids came, until there were easily about 25 kids talking, shouting, and milling about the front of the stage. Then they started to get restless, so they ran around in front of the stage. And THEN, a few of them got bold and decided it looked like more fun up on the stage. They climbed up the steps and just wandered around the stage while the two MCs were announcing and giving out awards. And all the while, not a parent in sight. It didn’t even phase any of the Chinese folk, while of course everyone at our table was guffawing over the way the children were running around like little hooligans. There is definitely a different standard here! Finally one of the MCs bribed the kids with chocolate to get them off the stage.
It was our first Chinese banquet, the food and the entertainment were good, and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, despite being on camera.

I'm in a shopping nightmare

All ladies, listen up! If you ever wanted inspiration to hit the gym, move to China...and then try to go shopping for clothes.
I have not managed to work-0ut since we've moved to China other than the bike trips to Gigi's school, but finally after New Year's eve I started dragging my butt to the gym. And in reality, the only reason I went was because I realized that we were going on a vacation in New Zealand in a month and I will have to wear a bathing suit. (What, exactly, I thought I could change about my body in one month at the gym is a mystery to me.)

Anyway, it turns out that New Zealand and a bathing suit is the least of my problems. The day after I hit the gym for the first time, I had to go shopping for a dress for Joe's work party that is next week.
OH MY GOD. I live in a country of little tiny stick-people! Intellectually, I knew this, and I see it everywhere. But it's different to go into the stores when you HAVE to find something to buy. I even made a point of going shopping at a couple stores that I know carry "bigger" sizes. In the US I am a size 8 or 10. Here in China, I had to shimmy, shake, and squeeze my way into the dresses labeled US 10, Eur 40! So after the first trip to the dressing room with 2 dresses in size 10 I had to surrender and get the size 12. OK, if this was just a number game it would be depressing, but I could get over it.

But it's not just about the size, it's also about the style these Chinese women can pull off. The dress style that is "in" right now in China (no idea if it's also "in" in the States or not) is the very very short shapeless shift dress, or very very short fitted sweater dress. Either way, if you are anything but a stick, you look ridiculous. In the shift dress I looked like I was wearing a sack and in the fitted sweater dress I looked like a sausage!
And did I mention that if you ask for a bigger size than what's on the rack the sales-people don't even ask what bigger size, they just look at you sadly and shake their heads? Ugh.

But, in case anyone out there was wondering, I finally found out who looks good in skinny jeans. Chinese women. There's one fashion mystery solved.

Talk to you soon, I'm off to the gym...