It has been a very odd thing to get used to having someone in my house with me all the time (my ayi), but on the other hand it has been so great that I have someone to leave Gigi with when I need to dash out to pick up Olivia, go on a field trip, or trek 45 minutes across town to get to the very good German meat market. But one thing that is not working so well is ayi's inability to be the boss of Gigi. This is definitely a case where east meets west.
In China today, it seems children are given whatever they want, and they are basically placated in whatever way necessary so that they never cry. Seriously, they consider it a huge failing if children are crying and will basically give in to whatever children want so they don't cry. I have seen this at Gigi's school when teachers give the kids candy if they are crying or upset, just to get them to stop crying! And I am increasing experiencing it with our ayi, Xiao Chen. Gigi gets away with so much because Xiao Chen doesn't want her to cry. We have had several instances:
Once ayi took Gigi to the playroom and I explained, in Chinese, that we needed to leave at 4:00 to go to friends' house. At 4:10 they were still not back at the apartment so I went to find them. When I asked Xiao Chen why she didn't come back, she said "I tell Gigi it's time to go, but she say 'no ayi!'." That time I just let it go because I wasn't really sure what to say.
Then a few days ago I got out of the shower and went to find Gigi. She had a green hand and green all around her mouth. I asked her what she had and she showed me the Skittle in her mouth. I asked where she got it..."ayi give it to me and change my diaper." Translation: ayi could not get Gigi to agree to a diaper change so she bribed her with Skittles! Candy at 9:00 in the morning!
And then today. I left for a field trip at Olivia's school about 8:15. Gigi was finishing watching the end of a Dora movie. I told both Gigi and ayi that when the one Dora movie was over, she was done watching. I came home at 11:00 and Gigi was STILL sitting on my bed watching Dora. I totally lost it. I yanked the DVD player off the bed and put it away, causing Gigi to scream and cry in frustration. Then I looked at Xiao Chen and said "why is she watching a movie?" Her answer: "I tell Gigi no more movie and she say 'no ayi' and she cry so I say OK." AYYYYYYYY! Seriously! I told Xiao Chen in English AND Chinglish that she was the boss of Gigi, that Gigi is 2 years old and she cannot make her own decisions, and that 3 hours of TV is very bad for her. Then I typed it all into Babelfish and translated it to English to hopefully make sure she understood.
I am totally baffled by a society where children have such respect for their elders, yet are given everything they want. How does that work? Do we have it all wrong putting our kids in time-out and letting them cry when they don't get their way? I know for sure it makes Xiao Chen totally bonkers when I put either of the girls in time-out. I've had to tell her a couple different times not to get the girls out of time-out! It's just such a different way of looking at raising children. And somehow I think that the ayi believes they are here to help, not to be the mom or the disciplinarian. But if that's the case, then I can't leave Gigi with Xiao Chen for very long. I am really struggling with how to navigate this relationship. I am asking my ayi to discipline my children in the same way I do, yet this is asking her to do things that go against her nature and her culture. But if she doesn't, what kind of little monster will I have on my hands when I return to the US in 2 years?
Speaking of that little monster, Joe told me I had to blog about the latest two incidences with her, even though they are very embarrassing to me. Yesterday morning when I had my weekly case of the runs (yes, even when we're careful and prepare food correctly and buy it at reputable places, we all seem to get the runs at least once a week.) Anyway, Gigi comes in the bathroom and asks "Mama have diarrhea?" I say, "well, a little." And in answer to this she starts singing a song, made up entirely of the word diarrhea, over and over again. She sings it the whole way to the door, and down the elevator and while I put her in her seat on my bike. I didn't say anything because I thought she'd get tired of it, which she did once she saw me putting on my very fashionable rain poncho designed to cover my entire bike. (yes, yes, I am truly one of the people now.) Anyway, we got to school and as I get her out of the bike seat I hear her start up the diarrhea song again. When I ask her to stop, she says with a two dimple grin "but it's a good song, right Mama?" No, not so much. My only hope is that no one in her classroom knew that particular English word...
The second Gigi incident was about a week ago, again on my bike on the way to Gigi's school. Gig's school is in a housing compound, and like most of the compounds at the main gate there is one of the yellow arms that goes up and down as a security guard waves you in. I have no idea who doesn't get to come in because I never see the arm down. Until I was riding in one day and the arm started to come down. I was a little surprised and I ducked my head and pedaled faster, but alas, not fast enough. The gate came down right on top of Gigi's head! Thank goodness she was wearing a helmet!!! She was fine, just a little scared, but the guard was laughing hysterically, which I really did not appreciate. Of course when we rode to school the next time, Gigi observes as we ride through the gate, "It not hit me this time Mama!" She now watches that yellow arm very carefully, as well she should since her Mama doesn't always make the wisest decisions.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Transportation-why do I think about this so much?
I have never truly thought about transportation before, I have almost always had a car and when I needed to get somewhere I put the keys in, started it up and off I went. If the distance was too far I took a plane. That was the sum total of my thinking.
Now I find that I spend an inordinate amount of time every day thinking about what kind of transportation I need or want. First there is the strange situation of having a driver. Truly the driver and car are Joe's, but after Daniel (our driver) has taken Joe to work he comes back and I can use him to go about town until about 4:00 when he has to head back out to pick up Joe. But when Joe is out of town on a business trip I can use him as much as I need, he is more or less at my disposal. Hence the problem. He wants and needs overtime work to make as much money as possible. I want and need to ride my bike and walk as much as possible so that I don't become the only ex-pat to gain weight instead of lose it in China! So then I have this constant internal debate in my head about should I use Daniel to drive over to the market, which is literally 4 blocks away, so that he gets the extra time and makes more money? Or should I ride my bike and do what's right for me? What's my obligation to my driver and his ability to make a decent living? BTW - I heard the alarming fact on television a couple weeks ago that the minimum wage in Shanghai 840RMB/month, which is roughly $120/month. Even with the cost of food very cheap for locals, that seems a minuscule amount of money to live on in a city as expensive as Shanghai. I feel a heavy obligation to help my driver make as much money as he can.
So that's the situation with the driver. Then there is the rare time when we don't have our driver, for instance yesterday when he asked for the day off, which we gladly gave him. We wanted to go to a Halloween party at Olivia's school, which is a 25 minute drive away. So we all pile into a taxi. No seatbelts, and a driver who truly believes the objective is to get there as fast as possible and has no hesitation about swerving around trucks, passing on the right on the shoulder, and generally scaring the piss out of westerners. Really, how often do I want to put my kids into a taxi? Not often.
And then there is the traditional mode of transportation, biking. I have mentioned before that I often take Gigi to preschool on my bike in the morning. Unlike many Chinese kids, she sits in a child seat on the back of my bike and wears a helmet. Many kids simply perch on the rack above the back wheel, siting sideways and holding onto their parent or grandparent. And I have only ever seen a handful of helmets on people here, and they were riding mopeds. Anyway, the other day I decided to take note of everything I saw and experienced on my bike on the way home so you could get a sense of using a bike as a mode of transportation. Here goes:
As I pulled out of the compound where Gigi's school is, there is a large lot with construction. The men were sitting on the corner taking a break. As I rode by one yelled out "hullo!". I turned and waved and yelled "Ni hao". This brought on hoots and hollers and laughter from all 15 of the men sitting there.
I rode along in the bike lane with many other people since it was rush hour. While there may not be any old cars in Shanghai, there are LOTS of old bikes. Many rusty and held together by wire. But people who ride bikes in Shanghai all seem to go the same speed, and I rarely see a bike with gears. It's slow-and-steady wins the race around here.
As I'm peddling along a see a man peeing on the side of the road at the wall.
Then I pass a man on a 3 wheel bike who has styrofoam stacked behind him easily 10 feet high and 7-8 feet across, held together by no more than 3 ropes. This is a totally common site in Shanghai, with styrofoam, garbage bags, empty water jugs, etc.
Next, on the sidewalk is what I call the bike drive-thru breakfast. There is a woman with a cart that has a half a barrel drum turned over. Somehow she heats this surface, because on top of the barrel drum she cooks what looks like a huge omelet/crepe concoction. It's eggs, meat, onions, garlic, etc, but spread very thin like a crepe. When it is cooked, she folds it over and over into a sandwich looking thing, puts it in a plastic bag tied at the top, and hands it to the gentleman waiting on his bike. He either ties the bag to his handlebars, or takes the omelette/crepe out and eats it while he rides his bike. A side note-pretty much anything you do in your car on the way to work, people do on their bikes on the way to work, including carpooling, eating breakfast, listening to music, talking on a cell phone, etc.
I continue on through an intersection where I stop literally in the middle with about 30 other people, and then continue on after the row of cars turning left is finished. People are dressed in anything from nice suits to jeans and t-shirts.
As I'm riding along, a gentleman, probably late 30's, rides up next to me and says "hello". Now, as you may remember from earlier posts, I am not the steadiest or best bike rider, although I am getting better. So I turned and smiled and said "ni hao", and then quickly looked back ahead to where I was riding. We are riding in a group of people so concentration is essential for me, and he asks me, in English "going to work?" In Chinglish (some chinese words, some english words), I tell him "no, i take daughter to school. I go home." He smiles and says "Where are you from?" I tell him "meigua (America)" and he grins at me. "You teach English here?" More Chinglish..."no, wo tai tai" which roughly means "no, I am a mrs." Then he says to me "oh, you don't need money?" In all English now, "Uh, I have to turn here." and off I rode down my street. It is a precarious thing to be polite to your country's hosts, but at the same time not want to really engage in a conversation while riding on a bike and trying to recall the little Chinese you do know! And really, he was starting to ask some personal questions!
Last, but not least, I am proud to say that I am no longer a "metro" virgin. Last week I took the subway for the first time and found it to be a clean, very efficient mode of transportation. One I would want to use often if the closest stop wasn't a 15 minute taxi ride away.
Alas, the choices of transportation are many, but the constant thinking about which one I have to use at which time is tiring!
Now I find that I spend an inordinate amount of time every day thinking about what kind of transportation I need or want. First there is the strange situation of having a driver. Truly the driver and car are Joe's, but after Daniel (our driver) has taken Joe to work he comes back and I can use him to go about town until about 4:00 when he has to head back out to pick up Joe. But when Joe is out of town on a business trip I can use him as much as I need, he is more or less at my disposal. Hence the problem. He wants and needs overtime work to make as much money as possible. I want and need to ride my bike and walk as much as possible so that I don't become the only ex-pat to gain weight instead of lose it in China! So then I have this constant internal debate in my head about should I use Daniel to drive over to the market, which is literally 4 blocks away, so that he gets the extra time and makes more money? Or should I ride my bike and do what's right for me? What's my obligation to my driver and his ability to make a decent living? BTW - I heard the alarming fact on television a couple weeks ago that the minimum wage in Shanghai 840RMB/month, which is roughly $120/month. Even with the cost of food very cheap for locals, that seems a minuscule amount of money to live on in a city as expensive as Shanghai. I feel a heavy obligation to help my driver make as much money as he can.
So that's the situation with the driver. Then there is the rare time when we don't have our driver, for instance yesterday when he asked for the day off, which we gladly gave him. We wanted to go to a Halloween party at Olivia's school, which is a 25 minute drive away. So we all pile into a taxi. No seatbelts, and a driver who truly believes the objective is to get there as fast as possible and has no hesitation about swerving around trucks, passing on the right on the shoulder, and generally scaring the piss out of westerners. Really, how often do I want to put my kids into a taxi? Not often.
And then there is the traditional mode of transportation, biking. I have mentioned before that I often take Gigi to preschool on my bike in the morning. Unlike many Chinese kids, she sits in a child seat on the back of my bike and wears a helmet. Many kids simply perch on the rack above the back wheel, siting sideways and holding onto their parent or grandparent. And I have only ever seen a handful of helmets on people here, and they were riding mopeds. Anyway, the other day I decided to take note of everything I saw and experienced on my bike on the way home so you could get a sense of using a bike as a mode of transportation. Here goes:
As I pulled out of the compound where Gigi's school is, there is a large lot with construction. The men were sitting on the corner taking a break. As I rode by one yelled out "hullo!". I turned and waved and yelled "Ni hao". This brought on hoots and hollers and laughter from all 15 of the men sitting there.
I rode along in the bike lane with many other people since it was rush hour. While there may not be any old cars in Shanghai, there are LOTS of old bikes. Many rusty and held together by wire. But people who ride bikes in Shanghai all seem to go the same speed, and I rarely see a bike with gears. It's slow-and-steady wins the race around here.
As I'm peddling along a see a man peeing on the side of the road at the wall.
Then I pass a man on a 3 wheel bike who has styrofoam stacked behind him easily 10 feet high and 7-8 feet across, held together by no more than 3 ropes. This is a totally common site in Shanghai, with styrofoam, garbage bags, empty water jugs, etc.
Next, on the sidewalk is what I call the bike drive-thru breakfast. There is a woman with a cart that has a half a barrel drum turned over. Somehow she heats this surface, because on top of the barrel drum she cooks what looks like a huge omelet/crepe concoction. It's eggs, meat, onions, garlic, etc, but spread very thin like a crepe. When it is cooked, she folds it over and over into a sandwich looking thing, puts it in a plastic bag tied at the top, and hands it to the gentleman waiting on his bike. He either ties the bag to his handlebars, or takes the omelette/crepe out and eats it while he rides his bike. A side note-pretty much anything you do in your car on the way to work, people do on their bikes on the way to work, including carpooling, eating breakfast, listening to music, talking on a cell phone, etc.
I continue on through an intersection where I stop literally in the middle with about 30 other people, and then continue on after the row of cars turning left is finished. People are dressed in anything from nice suits to jeans and t-shirts.
As I'm riding along, a gentleman, probably late 30's, rides up next to me and says "hello". Now, as you may remember from earlier posts, I am not the steadiest or best bike rider, although I am getting better. So I turned and smiled and said "ni hao", and then quickly looked back ahead to where I was riding. We are riding in a group of people so concentration is essential for me, and he asks me, in English "going to work?" In Chinglish (some chinese words, some english words), I tell him "no, i take daughter to school. I go home." He smiles and says "Where are you from?" I tell him "meigua (America)" and he grins at me. "You teach English here?" More Chinglish..."no, wo tai tai" which roughly means "no, I am a mrs." Then he says to me "oh, you don't need money?" In all English now, "Uh, I have to turn here." and off I rode down my street. It is a precarious thing to be polite to your country's hosts, but at the same time not want to really engage in a conversation while riding on a bike and trying to recall the little Chinese you do know! And really, he was starting to ask some personal questions!
Last, but not least, I am proud to say that I am no longer a "metro" virgin. Last week I took the subway for the first time and found it to be a clean, very efficient mode of transportation. One I would want to use often if the closest stop wasn't a 15 minute taxi ride away.
Alas, the choices of transportation are many, but the constant thinking about which one I have to use at which time is tiring!
Halloween in China
Several people have asked if there is Halloween in China and the answer is "no" if you are Chinese but "yes" if you live in an expat community. But even in the expat communities it is considered a very American thing to dress up and go trick-or-treating. Our British friends said they took a walk around their neighborhood last week to look at the Halloween decorations and Graham (the husband) said "What are we doing? This is an American tradition, why are we partaking in this?" I guess we are influencing those around us wherever we are, whether that is good or bad I truly do not know.
My Chinese tutor, Jessie, had a funny reaction to the decorations at our house. We don't have much up, just a pumpkin candle and a friendly looking spider hanging outside the door. When she arrived at the house for my lesson she said "Oh, is this for your evil festival?" That cracked me up! Everything in a China is a "festival" instead of a holiday. And I guess technically it is an evil festival when you think of all the sugar that gets into kids this time of year!
When she walked into the apartment, she saw the glow-in-the-dark skeleton hanging on the girls' bedroom door. She widened her eyes comically and said "Oh! Chinese people would never do that!" Of course she is referring to feng shui and the management of chi. As I am learning slowly, the Chinese take their spirits and traditions very seriously. Feng shui seems to be a bit of a trend in the US, but here it is truly ingrained in society. People take the positioning of their homes, rooms, etc, every seriously. And lucky numbers take on a whole different meaning in a country where everyone has the same lucky number. For instance, since 8 is a very lucky number, some streets have multiple #8 buildings. And the government actually has to try to actively manage how many people are giving birth in the month of August (8th month). Since couples are only allowed one baby, they are (understandably so) going to try to have it in a lucky month!
Someone at a recent ex-pat event made the comment to me that it makes sense that the Chinese are so superstitious because their traditions/superstitions are the one thing that has stayed constant through so many centuries of turmoil and change.
Anyway, back to Halloween. I asked Jessie if the Chinese have anything similar to Halloween and she said yes, and told me what it was called, which roughly translates in English to be "Ogre Festival". And it was just last week. It is a day when supposedly the ogres come out and they mess with people, but people cannot really see them or anticipate what they are going to do, so the Chinese stay in their houses to be safe from the ogres. They leave work early, and go home and stay there. At home they hang a red lantern in front of their front door and burn incense inside to keep the ogres away. It is a festival for which they stay home so no harm will come to them. Sounds good to me!
My Chinese tutor, Jessie, had a funny reaction to the decorations at our house. We don't have much up, just a pumpkin candle and a friendly looking spider hanging outside the door. When she arrived at the house for my lesson she said "Oh, is this for your evil festival?" That cracked me up! Everything in a China is a "festival" instead of a holiday. And I guess technically it is an evil festival when you think of all the sugar that gets into kids this time of year!
When she walked into the apartment, she saw the glow-in-the-dark skeleton hanging on the girls' bedroom door. She widened her eyes comically and said "Oh! Chinese people would never do that!" Of course she is referring to feng shui and the management of chi. As I am learning slowly, the Chinese take their spirits and traditions very seriously. Feng shui seems to be a bit of a trend in the US, but here it is truly ingrained in society. People take the positioning of their homes, rooms, etc, every seriously. And lucky numbers take on a whole different meaning in a country where everyone has the same lucky number. For instance, since 8 is a very lucky number, some streets have multiple #8 buildings. And the government actually has to try to actively manage how many people are giving birth in the month of August (8th month). Since couples are only allowed one baby, they are (understandably so) going to try to have it in a lucky month!
Someone at a recent ex-pat event made the comment to me that it makes sense that the Chinese are so superstitious because their traditions/superstitions are the one thing that has stayed constant through so many centuries of turmoil and change.
Anyway, back to Halloween. I asked Jessie if the Chinese have anything similar to Halloween and she said yes, and told me what it was called, which roughly translates in English to be "Ogre Festival". And it was just last week. It is a day when supposedly the ogres come out and they mess with people, but people cannot really see them or anticipate what they are going to do, so the Chinese stay in their houses to be safe from the ogres. They leave work early, and go home and stay there. At home they hang a red lantern in front of their front door and burn incense inside to keep the ogres away. It is a festival for which they stay home so no harm will come to them. Sounds good to me!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Progress in the kids adjusting
Forgot to mention in my last blog (5 minutes ago) that this week was the first week that Olivia has not asked to go home to Oregon. This is a milestone, and I feel that it is a sign of two things:
1 is that I am finally getting back a little of my patience and therefore not the raging witch I've been since we arrived. I can actually calmly threaten my children with timeouts, instead of yelling at them through clenched teeth. Olivia no longer feels the need to go back to Oregon where "nice mommy" lives.
2 is that the weather has finally cooled down a little bit (hangs out about 80 degrees) so that we can enjoy being outdoors. In all the times we've asked her why she wants to go home to Oregon, her answer has always been "it's too hot in China". I honestly think that her first impression of China, stepping out of the airport into stifling 105 degree weather, made such an impact that it will be with her forever, no matter how cold it gets here. But at least that's no longer the issue.
So we are all slowly but surely adjusting. I'm regaining some patience and consistency in my parenting, the kids are eating, sleeping, and playing in a much more regular way, and Joe and I are attempting to implement date night so that we can keep track of our divergent experiences in China.
Wahoo, we're making progess. Thank goodness!
1 is that I am finally getting back a little of my patience and therefore not the raging witch I've been since we arrived. I can actually calmly threaten my children with timeouts, instead of yelling at them through clenched teeth. Olivia no longer feels the need to go back to Oregon where "nice mommy" lives.
2 is that the weather has finally cooled down a little bit (hangs out about 80 degrees) so that we can enjoy being outdoors. In all the times we've asked her why she wants to go home to Oregon, her answer has always been "it's too hot in China". I honestly think that her first impression of China, stepping out of the airport into stifling 105 degree weather, made such an impact that it will be with her forever, no matter how cold it gets here. But at least that's no longer the issue.
So we are all slowly but surely adjusting. I'm regaining some patience and consistency in my parenting, the kids are eating, sleeping, and playing in a much more regular way, and Joe and I are attempting to implement date night so that we can keep track of our divergent experiences in China.
Wahoo, we're making progess. Thank goodness!
OK, I hear you!
Apparently the fact that I've fallen off the blogging bandwagon for the two weeks is a problem because I'm getting emails asking for more blog posts! This is a good thing in my mind, because it means more than my mom is reading my blog. :)
So, it's been a crazy two weeks. It's hard to explain the way time just flies by here in China. You can't figure out how getting your kids to school and going to the grocery store can take up an entire day, but it does.
I think the last time I posted a blog was right before typhoon WIPHA, or maybe right after, but I can't be sure because I can't read my own blog. Anyway, the happy ending to the "I missed my opportunity to see the US Women's soccer team play because I'm a wimp" saga is that Joe got us tickets to the final matches of the US women's world cup last Sunday and it was awesome. We watched the US team soundly beat Norway (in the #3, #4 game) and the first half of the final match between Germany and Brazil. We left at halftime due to babysitting constraints, but managed to sell our tickets on the way out for 100RMB, which was enough to pay for the babysitter. All in all an excellent date night!
Ironically, as I'm writing this blog another typhoon is forecasted to hit Shanghai tonight and it is blowing and raining to beat the band.
This last week was the National Holiday in China. This is roughly equivalent to our 4th of July, it celebrates the founding of the People's Republic of China (by Mao in 1949), and it seems the way people celebrate in China is the same as the States: lots of people off work, fireworks and celebrations, and sales in all the stores. (Why do stores do that, by the way? What does Independence Day or National Holiday have to do with buying a t-shirt for 40% off?)
So here is an interesting thing about the holiday and time off. The holiday is officially 3 days (Mon-Tu-Wed), but in order to give people a full week off, businesses tell their employees to work the weekend before. And this extends to all businesses, and the government and the public schools. I was so surprised to get a notice saying that Gigi's school would be open on Sat & Sun before National Holiday week, but it makes sense if the parents are required to work they need the normal place to take their kids. Anyway, I can't imagine any company in the US saying "in order to get a full week off you need to work this weekend". We just take the 2 days of vacation to make it a complete week. It's just a different system.
Joe and I didn't feel up to traveling for the holiday (we just got here 8 weeks ago!), so we planned a week of events around Shanghai that would allow us to see the city and still keep the kids happy. And boy did we experience Shanghai, right along with the 18 million other people that live here. Holy cow. Many Chinese travel domestically during this holiday, so that meant that many non-Shanghainese were in town. No big deal, except people outside of Shanghai have seen even less foreigners than people in town and so our family with two curly-headed blond & red-hair kids becomes a moving exhibit wherever we go. People are stopping us and asking to take pictures of the girls, or with the girls, or with their kid. I swear every Chinese person knows the phrase "excuse me, may I take your picture?" in English.
I've finally hit upon a solution to this that seems to work for everyone, which to ask each of the girls if they want to have their picture taken. Typically Olivia says no and hides behind me and Gigi shrugs and says OK and then mugs for the camera. And if they both say no then I tell the Chinese people politely "not today", and it seems to work. I talk to the girls about making new Chinese friends and practicing their Chinese, but I think most times all they are thinking is "why can't we just sit here and have a snack without people lining up to take pictures and touch us?" Or wait, maybe I'm just projecting onto them because half the time that's what I'm thinking! It's not even close to the same scale, but I have a profound new respect for celebrities who can't go anywhere without people staring and following.
Monday we went to the Wild Animal Park, which is really a zoo and a wild animal park. As with most things in China, there were things that were great and things that disturbed. In the great category, the animals are really close and they don't have nearly the same amount of plexiglass and bars between people and animals. On the disturbing side, without a barricade some people seem compelled to throw food and trash in at the animals. (the apes think this is a game and throw the stuff back at the crowd and clap!) On both the great AND disturbing side, you could ride an elephant, camel, pony or zebra at the zoo. On the funny side, in the animal kindergarten (baby animals) there was a whole section with dogs: golden retrievers, beagles, pugs, and an alaskan husky. Olivia's comment: "Why are there dogs in the zoo? That's silly!" Dogs are a rarity here, unless you live in an ex-pat compound, where they abound.
Tuesday we headed out to the Science & Technology Museum without Joe, who got really really sick on Monday night. I was mentally geared up for tracking two kids in a crowd for the morning, but even I had second thoughts when I saw the 25 tour buses outside the back entrance to the museum. It took us 25 minutes, multiple elbows and a lot of stink-eye to stand in line and get our tickets. (Lining up is not preferred by Chinese, they would rather just pretend to be oblivious and walk to the front of the line, or worse yet be belligerent and cut right in front of you.) But we finally got tickets and the museum was great! The kids enjoyed the exhibits and I spent the entire time marveling at the sheer number of people that fit into the museum. Another good/bad thing about China is that you can bring your own food into anyplace and eat it anyplace. The bad thing is that lots of people leave their trash wherever they ate their food, but overall it's so nice not to have to go outside to eat your own food or buy overpriced bad food.
Wednesday we took it easy and went to some friends' house, luckily they have a great pool because the temp soared to 90 degrees. That night we went to a fireworks and music display at Century Park. Fabulous! Chinese really know how to do fireworks, which they should since they invented them. The entire show (1 hour) looked like the grand finale looks in the US! And it was coordinated with music. We really had fun, and ate our first bucket of KFC since we arrived, it's very popular here, there are KFCs here like there are Starbucks at home. Well, not quite that many, but close. We all enjoyed the picnic we had around the lake with fireworks exploding above our heads.
Thursday we headed out of Shanghai for 1.5 hours to a water town called Tongli. Ironically, when we pulled into the tourist parking lot our friends' driver says casually "there are better water towns, you should go to yadda yadda yadda." Thanks dude, could have used that advice 1.5 hours ago! There are dozens of watertowns on the outskirts of Shanghai, very picturesque villages built on canals. This one was very busy with tourists but not too commercialized. A ride on a gondola-type boat revealed that many people still wash their dishes and clothes in the canal. I swear, these people must have stomachs of iron, because this water is REALLY not clean.
Friday we found a furniture store that has great stuff, and also makes custom pieces. We designed a 25-cubby bookcase, which should be here in a couple weeks and cost us $300. A little research on the web tells us a similar piece in the States would set us back about $800, so we're feeling good about our first piece of Chinese furniture!
Saturday and Sunday our friend Jean was in town, she's here on a business trip. Yeah! It's so exciting to have visitors. I don't know why it's so monumental, but it is. I guess maybe because it means we haven't been forgotten. We used her arrival as an excuse to do a bunch of tourist stuff that we hadn't managed to get to yet. Which was good because I finally feel like I'm seeing some of the city, but bad because 18 million other people were doing the same thing.
This brings me to to an interesting aspect of my ex-pat experience. Since the week after we arrived, I have felt this incredible pressure to go out and explore and experience and really "live" in China. And I'm sure it's all in my head, and nothing intentional from friends and family, but questions like "what's the most interesting thing you've seen, what will you miss the most when you come home, and have you eaten anything you can't identify?" make me feel like I have to do everything immediately. And so I started planning things for every Sat and Sun. But Joe is working really hard and is stressed and he wants to spend the weekend relaxing and rejuvenating, and there is nothing relaxing about the Yu Garden with 25 thousand other people in it with you. :P So I feel pressure to get out and see the city, he wants to relax, and the kids just want to watch movies and eat snacks (gotta love being 2 and 4). We seriously have to figure out the right balance so we can enjoy the incredible, crazy city we live in, but come away from the experience sane and still married. It's a challenge of ex-pat life that I never even considered before we arrived.
One final note, I am trying to post some pictures to the blog, but I find it very hard to do without a preview feature or the ability to see the blog. I'll keep trying...stay tuned.
So, it's been a crazy two weeks. It's hard to explain the way time just flies by here in China. You can't figure out how getting your kids to school and going to the grocery store can take up an entire day, but it does.
I think the last time I posted a blog was right before typhoon WIPHA, or maybe right after, but I can't be sure because I can't read my own blog. Anyway, the happy ending to the "I missed my opportunity to see the US Women's soccer team play because I'm a wimp" saga is that Joe got us tickets to the final matches of the US women's world cup last Sunday and it was awesome. We watched the US team soundly beat Norway (in the #3, #4 game) and the first half of the final match between Germany and Brazil. We left at halftime due to babysitting constraints, but managed to sell our tickets on the way out for 100RMB, which was enough to pay for the babysitter. All in all an excellent date night!
Ironically, as I'm writing this blog another typhoon is forecasted to hit Shanghai tonight and it is blowing and raining to beat the band.
This last week was the National Holiday in China. This is roughly equivalent to our 4th of July, it celebrates the founding of the People's Republic of China (by Mao in 1949), and it seems the way people celebrate in China is the same as the States: lots of people off work, fireworks and celebrations, and sales in all the stores. (Why do stores do that, by the way? What does Independence Day or National Holiday have to do with buying a t-shirt for 40% off?)
So here is an interesting thing about the holiday and time off. The holiday is officially 3 days (Mon-Tu-Wed), but in order to give people a full week off, businesses tell their employees to work the weekend before. And this extends to all businesses, and the government and the public schools. I was so surprised to get a notice saying that Gigi's school would be open on Sat & Sun before National Holiday week, but it makes sense if the parents are required to work they need the normal place to take their kids. Anyway, I can't imagine any company in the US saying "in order to get a full week off you need to work this weekend". We just take the 2 days of vacation to make it a complete week. It's just a different system.
Joe and I didn't feel up to traveling for the holiday (we just got here 8 weeks ago!), so we planned a week of events around Shanghai that would allow us to see the city and still keep the kids happy. And boy did we experience Shanghai, right along with the 18 million other people that live here. Holy cow. Many Chinese travel domestically during this holiday, so that meant that many non-Shanghainese were in town. No big deal, except people outside of Shanghai have seen even less foreigners than people in town and so our family with two curly-headed blond & red-hair kids becomes a moving exhibit wherever we go. People are stopping us and asking to take pictures of the girls, or with the girls, or with their kid. I swear every Chinese person knows the phrase "excuse me, may I take your picture?" in English.
I've finally hit upon a solution to this that seems to work for everyone, which to ask each of the girls if they want to have their picture taken. Typically Olivia says no and hides behind me and Gigi shrugs and says OK and then mugs for the camera. And if they both say no then I tell the Chinese people politely "not today", and it seems to work. I talk to the girls about making new Chinese friends and practicing their Chinese, but I think most times all they are thinking is "why can't we just sit here and have a snack without people lining up to take pictures and touch us?" Or wait, maybe I'm just projecting onto them because half the time that's what I'm thinking! It's not even close to the same scale, but I have a profound new respect for celebrities who can't go anywhere without people staring and following.
Monday we went to the Wild Animal Park, which is really a zoo and a wild animal park. As with most things in China, there were things that were great and things that disturbed. In the great category, the animals are really close and they don't have nearly the same amount of plexiglass and bars between people and animals. On the disturbing side, without a barricade some people seem compelled to throw food and trash in at the animals. (the apes think this is a game and throw the stuff back at the crowd and clap!) On both the great AND disturbing side, you could ride an elephant, camel, pony or zebra at the zoo. On the funny side, in the animal kindergarten (baby animals) there was a whole section with dogs: golden retrievers, beagles, pugs, and an alaskan husky. Olivia's comment: "Why are there dogs in the zoo? That's silly!" Dogs are a rarity here, unless you live in an ex-pat compound, where they abound.
Tuesday we headed out to the Science & Technology Museum without Joe, who got really really sick on Monday night. I was mentally geared up for tracking two kids in a crowd for the morning, but even I had second thoughts when I saw the 25 tour buses outside the back entrance to the museum. It took us 25 minutes, multiple elbows and a lot of stink-eye to stand in line and get our tickets. (Lining up is not preferred by Chinese, they would rather just pretend to be oblivious and walk to the front of the line, or worse yet be belligerent and cut right in front of you.) But we finally got tickets and the museum was great! The kids enjoyed the exhibits and I spent the entire time marveling at the sheer number of people that fit into the museum. Another good/bad thing about China is that you can bring your own food into anyplace and eat it anyplace. The bad thing is that lots of people leave their trash wherever they ate their food, but overall it's so nice not to have to go outside to eat your own food or buy overpriced bad food.
Wednesday we took it easy and went to some friends' house, luckily they have a great pool because the temp soared to 90 degrees. That night we went to a fireworks and music display at Century Park. Fabulous! Chinese really know how to do fireworks, which they should since they invented them. The entire show (1 hour) looked like the grand finale looks in the US! And it was coordinated with music. We really had fun, and ate our first bucket of KFC since we arrived, it's very popular here, there are KFCs here like there are Starbucks at home. Well, not quite that many, but close. We all enjoyed the picnic we had around the lake with fireworks exploding above our heads.
Thursday we headed out of Shanghai for 1.5 hours to a water town called Tongli. Ironically, when we pulled into the tourist parking lot our friends' driver says casually "there are better water towns, you should go to yadda yadda yadda." Thanks dude, could have used that advice 1.5 hours ago! There are dozens of watertowns on the outskirts of Shanghai, very picturesque villages built on canals. This one was very busy with tourists but not too commercialized. A ride on a gondola-type boat revealed that many people still wash their dishes and clothes in the canal. I swear, these people must have stomachs of iron, because this water is REALLY not clean.
Friday we found a furniture store that has great stuff, and also makes custom pieces. We designed a 25-cubby bookcase, which should be here in a couple weeks and cost us $300. A little research on the web tells us a similar piece in the States would set us back about $800, so we're feeling good about our first piece of Chinese furniture!
Saturday and Sunday our friend Jean was in town, she's here on a business trip. Yeah! It's so exciting to have visitors. I don't know why it's so monumental, but it is. I guess maybe because it means we haven't been forgotten. We used her arrival as an excuse to do a bunch of tourist stuff that we hadn't managed to get to yet. Which was good because I finally feel like I'm seeing some of the city, but bad because 18 million other people were doing the same thing.
This brings me to to an interesting aspect of my ex-pat experience. Since the week after we arrived, I have felt this incredible pressure to go out and explore and experience and really "live" in China. And I'm sure it's all in my head, and nothing intentional from friends and family, but questions like "what's the most interesting thing you've seen, what will you miss the most when you come home, and have you eaten anything you can't identify?" make me feel like I have to do everything immediately. And so I started planning things for every Sat and Sun. But Joe is working really hard and is stressed and he wants to spend the weekend relaxing and rejuvenating, and there is nothing relaxing about the Yu Garden with 25 thousand other people in it with you. :P So I feel pressure to get out and see the city, he wants to relax, and the kids just want to watch movies and eat snacks (gotta love being 2 and 4). We seriously have to figure out the right balance so we can enjoy the incredible, crazy city we live in, but come away from the experience sane and still married. It's a challenge of ex-pat life that I never even considered before we arrived.
One final note, I am trying to post some pictures to the blog, but I find it very hard to do without a preview feature or the ability to see the blog. I'll keep trying...stay tuned.
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