The Education Journey (Part 2) - Finding a Tutor

Once we had determined that Genevieve would go to a local school, our next steps involved how to best prepare her for a true immersion experience.  Our biggest worry was finding her a tutor, or possibly multiple tutors.  Her background with simplified characters meant our first priority was getting a handle on traditional characters.  A quick conversation with our realtor in Taipei had enlightened us to bo-po-mo-fo, which is the system that children use to learn the strokes that make up a character.  Similar to how we have 26 letters and sounds in our alphabet and we call it learning the A-B-Cs, children in Taiwan learn 30+ strokes with sounds starting with bo-po-mo-fo.  Frankly, it’s more fun to say bo-po-mo-fo than ABCs, just try saying it out loud.  J

Learning traditional characters

In Portland, a google search revealed a school in SE Portland where they taught traditional characters.  We signed up for tutor sessions twice a week where G started to tackle bo-po-mo-fo and where her teacher assured both of us that she was very bright and it would be fairly easy for her to pick things up once she was in Taiwan.  It gave us both confidence in what we were doing.

Decisions don’t prevent doubts (the eternal struggle of parenting!)

However, at the same time the tutor is encouraging us, a Taiwanese co-worker of mine was telling me that she thought local school would be very hard for my daughter, because they are very strict, have very large classes, and students do a lot of listening.  She was adamant that American students would have a hard time in this system because American kids are used to interactive classrooms and asking lots of questions. (Alternatively, she also thought TAS was a school for spoiled wealthy children and would ruin Genevieve's character, so she didn’t like either of my alternatives!) 

Her comments made me uneasy because G has a very hard time sitting still and listening to a teacher for long periods of time.  I didn't think she was a big question-asker, so that would be OK, but sitting still and focusing would be hard.

When I questioned my co-worker about the social scene in local schools, she cringed even more and said it really depended on my daughter and the other kids in the class and the teacher.  She said it could be good, the other kids would likely be very curious about her and want to talk to her just because she looks so different from them, but it could also be very bad and they could decide to make fun of her accent and bully her a lot.  UGH.  Not comforting, but then she saved the entire doubt-generating conversation by giving me the BEST idea. 

Gift giving

She said we should find some small gift that represented Oregon and take enough for every student in G’s new class.  I knew instantly that this would be a good ice-breaker and would honor the gift-giving tradition that is so strong in Taiwan.  Brilliant!  G and I put our heads together thinking of possible gifts.  It became apparent we were at cross-purposes; her goal was to give something really cool, my goal was not to break the bank, knowing she would have 25-30 kids in her class! 

After a thorough look around the Made in Oregon store, we settled on Portland postcards and saltwater taffy.  Why saltwater taffy?  Because we thought chocolate would melt during the trip, but saltwater taffy is still made in Oregon and could survive in tact.  (More later about how this postcard plan brought Genevieve to the very edge of an emotional cliff days before school started…)

It’s a small world

Once we arrived in Taiwan, one of my top priorities, after feeding my children and finding my way around my new city, was to find G a tutor who could help with homework and learning traditional characters.  In a truly small world twist, my mom in Klamath Falls, Oregon is the one who helped me find a tutor in Tianmu, Taiwan.  J  

Side note:  I have to give a shout out to my mom here. She is one of those people who knows someone WHEREVER she/we go in the world, despite the fact that she lives in a small town in southern Oregon.  We call it her super-power and tease her about it all the time, but it really paid off for us here in Taiwan, so we’re done teasing you Mom.  J

My mom has a Taiwanese colleague, Hui-Yun, at OIT (Oregon Institute of Technology) in Klamath Falls who was in Taipei for the summer with her family and my mom e-introduced us.  Once we were on the ground in Taipei, I emailed her and we set up a coffee date at Starbucks.  In the email exchange she asked what she could help me with in her native city.  We were settling in pretty well, so I told her the only thing I was really worried about was finding a tutor for G.  The next day when we met for coffee, she had the name of a potential tutor.  I was truly shocked, I couldn’t believe it, such fast work! 

Spirit of generosity

It was one of many, many kindnesses we have experienced from local Taiwanese people.  I’m sad to admit that at first I was a little suspicious of this help that was consistently offered.  Did they want something in return?  Were they telling me the truth?  And then I wondered “Why do I question this generosity?”  Is it because I’m scared to offer help to strangers in the US because you never know if people will think you’re interfering and get mad at you?  Possibly.  I’m not sure. 

But I know that here in Taiwan, local Taiwanese people genuinely want to help and truly go out of their way to make sure you’re OK.  From the stranger in Carrefour who helped us decipher which milk was low-fat vs. whole fat, to the mom who gave me Chinese books she thought Genevieve might like, to Joe’s coworker who explained how addresses work in Taipei, to the guy at 7-11 who told us where to get an Easy card in the MRT station, the generosity comes from the heart.

I have experienced such kindness from strangers here in Taipei that I often feel desperate to try to explain to these helpful people how much their assistance has helped me, but there are no adequate words!  I can only say xie xie, xie xie ni (thank you) over and over again.  But I am resolved to pay it forward here in Taiwan, and when I am at home in the U.S.  When I see someone struggling with a situation where I can help, I will offer my assistance, knowing that it may make all the difference to their day, week, month.  It’s worth the risk.

Finding our tutor

Anyway, I met my mom’s friend Hui-Yun for coffee.  I had Genevieve and Mimi in tow, she had her niece, nephew, and son in tow.  Her niece, born and raised in Taiwan but now a junior at University of Oregon, took the kids off for snacks and a chat in Chinese.  (Incidentally, can you imagine the culture shock of growing up in Taiwan and then moving to Klamath Falls, OR to live with your aunt for high school before attending U of O???)  

Hui-Yun said, “Let’s call Vivien, the woman I found to tutor Genevieve, and talk to her about how she can help you.”  I replied, "Yes, please!"  And privately I thought “Thank God, I’m not sure how much English she speaks or even how to start this conversation, or what the going rate for tutoring is!” 

It turned out Vivien was a friend of a friend, but Hui-Yun knew she was a young woman who is a teacher and is bi-lingual and could tutor on the weekends.  It was a good start, but I knew we also needed help with homework every day after school, but perhaps Vivien knew someone.  So we tried to call Vivien, but she wasn’t answering, so Hui-Yun called Vivien’s mother (how she had this number I don’t know!)  In the course of talking to the mother, Hui-Yun discovers that she is a former teacher and runs an after-school program for primary school kids.  And she says she could help Genevieve after school, and she is free right now and could meet us and show us her school and talk to us about tutoring.  Wow, OK.  We’ve gone from coffee to meeting a potential tutor in 15 minutes!

So we pile into two taxis to meet this woman.  We meet up, get into her car and she tells us that her name is Mei-Ling, but Genevieve can call her Auntie Mei.  Already it’s evident how sweet and friendly and happy to meet us she is.  She starts driving to her school, I stare out the window trying hard to memorize where we’re going, knowing I might have to get Genevieve here again by myself. 

Mei-Ling and Hui-Yun sit in front of the mini-van talking a mile a minute and I sit in the back with my two girls marveling about two things:  First, Hui-Yun’s kids have jumped into a taxi, then another car, without one word of complaint that they are spending an afternoon schlepping around trying to help some foreigner find a tutor.  And second, like so many other situations, I am at the mercy of the kindness of other people and I have to just be patient and see how this situation works out.  Oh, and third, I desperately wish to know what is being said in the front seat and wondering why I didn’t work harder on my Chinese in China and ever since.

Cram school?

We get to Mei-Ling’s school and Hui-Yun tells me that Mei-Ling actually owns the school, and that it’s a math cram school.  I’m taken aback, I have no need for a math cram school!  But Hui-Yun tells me that Mei-Ling isn’t doing any math tutoring right now, she has other teachers for that and Genevieve can come here after school and she will help her with all her homework.  Hmm, OK?  I’m not sure what to think about this, but it is only a 10 minute walk from G’s school and Mei-Ling seems very kind.  It also might be better for G to be in a place with other kids, rather than 1:1 tutoring at home.  Perhaps this will be a good situation, I’m trying to assess.

Then we get back in the car and Mei-Ling proceeds to drive us all around Tianmu (our neighborhood) and point out all the good restaurants, the good markets, her house, her church, and a public swimming pool.  Also, she tells Hui-Yun that she will charge me 10,000NT per month for Genevieve to come to her school 3 x week for 2 hours each time.  I quickly calculate and realize that she will be charging me about $15USD per hour for tutoring.  This is significantly less than I anticipated, I budgeted for $20-25USD per hour, so yippee! 

When I try to confirm that I got the number right, Mei-Ling says she will take whatever I can pay, she just wants to make sure Genevieve gets the help she needs in school.  I am surprised and wondering what’s behind this offer, but after more conversation with Hui-Yun, it's clear that Mei-Ling is very kind and genuinely wants to help us.  We agree on the monthly fee.  But this is all moving very fast, shouldn’t I be interviewing other tutors?  Then again, where am I going to find other tutors?

Should we do this?

Quietly in the backseat, I talk to Genevieve about if she feels comfortable with Mei-Ling, if she will be OK going to her school.  G is unsure and tentative in her answers, she tells me she likes Mei-Ling OK, but she talks too fast.  J  To which I reply, “At least you mostly understand what Mei-Ling says, even if she slowed down I would still be clueless!”  We decide together that we will give Mei-Ling and her cram school a try, but if it doesn’t work out, we can always find someone else.  G seems happy with this, gives a small smile and a decisive nod, and then tells Mei-Ling she talks too fast.  Mei-Ling laughs and tells her that she will speak more slowly.

I am slightly dazed by the fact that in the span of 24 hours I’ve gone from not knowing how to find a tutor to having found a situation that seems quite good.  I’m nervous about the fact that Mei-Ling only speaks a tiny bit of English, but that’s my problem, not hers or Genevieve’s.  The more time Genevieve spends speaking Chinese, including during homework, the faster she will adapt.  So, wow, at the end of the first week in town we found a tutor to help G with her homework.  

And during all this running around, Vivien calls back and says she can work with Genevieve during the three weeks until school starts, and then on the weekends after that. 

And we’re on our way

My mental list of getting G ready for school is getting checked off:  Homework tutor, check.  Traditional character tutor, check.  Now onto things like registering for school, finding out where to buy her PE uniform, figuring out how I’m going to communicate with her teacher and the administration…three weeks to go until school starts.